Death in the Big Blue Bowl

On the patio near Colony 751a99f3

The mystifying Blue Bowl of Liquid (BBL) has lured hundreds of ants to their deaths, despite widely posted (and conflicting) ant-posted warnings. The Blue Bowl of Liquid contains “water”, a substance found only in THAT BOWL, and a thing that ALL ANTS NEED. Many ants seeking this liquid have attempted to mount expeditions up the nearly vertical and very slippery sides of the BBL only to slide helplessly into the bowl drown horribly (after deliciously and enviously quenching their thirst).

Local ant authorities have posted signs with warning messages that alert would-be adventurer ants to the potential danger (and also the THIRST SLAKING MAGIC) of the BBL. “DANGER. AND ALSO VERY TASTY.”

Mrs. Ant, mother of 50,000, describes the terror of losing yet another offspring to the allure of the BBL. “I told them not to go, DON’T GO, I said…but if they DID go, I told them to bring me back some. But don’t go. But bring it back.”

Every morning the BBL is “taken up” by the Freakishly Large Mysterious Bowl Grabber and almost all ants still in it disappear forever. A survivor of the BBL describes the allure: “It’s all around you, the liquid. You’re drinking and drowning and drinking and drowning. It’s heaven. IT’S HELL. ”

Recently, a group of concerned ant citizens rallied at the BBL to raise awareness of its lethal potential and warn away those who attempt to enter it, while sneaking furtive glances at it. “We don’t think the average ant understands the devastation and um…the danger..and…satis…faction….” said one protester before dropping his tiny little sign and scrambling up into the BBL.